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Broken Piano for President by Patrick Wensink

8 Jan

BrokenPianofinalnewcover (2)

The international bestseller at the center of the “World’s Nicest Cease-and-Desist” from Jack Daniel’s. 

Second edition cover designed in collaboration with Portland, Oregon’s Bull Run Distilling Company.

Featured in the New Yorker, New York Times, Forbes, London Telegraph, Esquire, The Atlantic, NPR’s Weekend Edition and more.

Ever drank too much and forgot what happened? Don’t be embarrassed. Deshler Dean faces this problem every day of his life.

Dean is far more brilliant and productive when he’s blackout drunk. In the last few months alone, he has invented a hamburger more addictive than crystal meth, scored a six-figure record contract for his terrible art rock band, and started dating a woman he doesn’t even recognize. Worse yet, he has become entangled in the biggest war since the Allies took on Germany.

When rival fast food chains duke it out for control over Dean’s burger-inventing genius, Dean and his band mates plunge into the absurd world of corporate paranoia and greed. As the violence of the burger wars spills out onto the streets, it’s up to them to win over the hearts (and stomachs) of the American people and save the country from the equivalent of a deep-fried nuclear warhead.

With the humor of Christopher Moore and the madcap sprawl of Thomas Pynchon, Broken Piano for President is a comic masterpiece about the fast food industry, booze, and the necessity to choose happiness over work and security.

Praise for Broken Piano for President

“I like Patrick Wensink’s work so much my heart had to issue its own cease-and-desist order.” – Gary Shteyngart, author of Super Sad True Love Story

“Patrick Wensink reads like Christopher Moore on very strong acid. In Broken Piano For President, he’s created a Pynchonesque universe of blackout drinkers, burger-chain magnates, Oswald accomplices, starving Russian cosmonauts, valet parking attendants named for short French generals, Japanese punkers, and the various and sundry members of a rock band so lousy they make the Butthole Surfers sound like Abbey Road—a world that ranges so far beyond the bounds of absurdity that it all makes perfect sense. A rollicking good time of a novel.” – Greg Olear, author of Fathermucker

“[Wensink] commits to his stories and his vision of the world, from book to book and breath and breath, and with Broken Piano for President he not only continues to break fresh Wensinkian ground, he continues to find his voice, a warped voice surely, but one uniquely his own. And yes, I just dropped the phrase Wensinkian there, which I now here by officially claim as my own. Trademark pending of course. And Pat Riley be damned.” – Ben Tanzer, author of My Father’s House and You Can Make Him Like You

“[A] psychedelic trip of a novel.” – Publishers Weekly

“A laugh out loud, thought-provoking novel.” – JMWW

“A D.I.Y. Frankenstein’s monster that uses parts pulled off Kurt Vonnegut and David Cronenberg, drunkenly stitched together while a Stooges bootleg plays at 110 decibels.” – Louisville Courier-Journal

“Broken Piano often reminds me in ways of [Nick] Cave’s last novel, The Death of Bunny Munro.” – The Fanzine

“Chok-full of sharp wit and punk irreverence and is a guaranteed treat for all enemies of Jonathan Franzen.” – Esoterrorist

Additional Praise and Coverage

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Patrick Wensink teaching online class at LitReactor!

10 Dec

something-out-of-nothing_0Bestselling Lazy Fascist author Patrick Wensink is teaching an online class over at one of our absolute favorite websites, LitReactor. The course is called Something Out Of Nothing: Using Improv to Build Plot Momentum and runs from January 10th to January 24th.

Click here to learn more and sign up for Building Something Out Of Nothing.

Lazy Fascist Fall 2012 Releases

4 Nov

 

CHICK BASSIST BY ROSS E. LOCKHART

Chick Bassist is utterly savage. Lockhart’s style waxes poetic as a modern Beat giving us a glimpse into Rock & Roll hell.” – Laird Barron, Shirley Jackson Award-winning author of Occultation and The Croning

Erin Locke, the Queen of Rock, wakes up at the crack of noon.

“La Cucaracha” has infested her dream, and now echoes through her hotel room. “What the fuck is that?” Erin’s voice is muffled by the thick blankets that completely cover her. Beside the lump that is Erin lies a black Ibanez bass guitar. A Heroes for Goats sticker adorns its reflective surface. Erin thrusts one arm out from beneath the blankets and fumbles for the nonexistent alarm clock. She’s still slogging off fragments of her dream, that goddamn recurrent creep-out where she’s a praying mantis, translucent green, perched on the crest of a burning city, devouring her still-copulating preymate. This time her meal had worn her father’s face. Those dreams were the worst.

Chick Bassist welcomes you into punk rock hell, the friendless disillusionment of waking up in a shitty motel room in California with half a joint and an empty six-pack, radio blaring Lou Reed, concrete ocean on all sides and a blazing inferno within.

“Crime and horror wrapped in a wondrous symmetry, made all the more terrifying by its factual basis, A Parliament of Crows has it all. Read it!”F. PAUL WILSON, New York Times bestselling author of Cold City

Murder, fraud, suicide, war, isolation, madness, duty, pride, love, loyalty.

From World Fantasy Award winner Alan M. Clark comes a godforsaken southern gothic based on the three most evil sisters in history. They are the Mortlow sisters, and they do it all for the family.

EVERYTHING WAS GREAT UNTIL IT SUCKED BY PATRICK WENSINK

“There are plenty of bastards in this world, but Patrick Wensink isn’t one of them. Well, maybe. He is our Terry Southern and Paul Krassner and possibly one day even our own Jonathan Swift…” – SCOTT MCCLANAHAN, author of The Collected Works of Scott McClanahan Vol. I

“I’ve never known an American economy that didn’t smell like Red Lobster’s dumpster,” begins Patrick Wensink’s (bestselling author of Broken Piano for President) long-awaited essay collection

Zipping together heartbreak and hilarity in one neat package, this book is one man’s journey along the front lines of America’s economic nightmare. These nonfiction pieces feature Wensink selling his own BBQ sauce, tying the knot in a doughnut shop, getting fired from more jobs than most hold in a lifetime and struggling to make ends meet as a stay-at-home-dad.

In the end, Wensink perseveres in typical self deprecating fashion, chronicling his unexpected rise to bestseller status when Broken Piano for President goes viral thanks to the World’s Nicest Cease and Desist from Jack Daniel’s.

These essays originally appeared in Huffington Post, Thought Catalog, and more.
For direct and wholesale orders, please contact lazyfascist@gmail.com.

 

Let’s Get Patrick Wensink on The Colbert Report!

25 Jul

In the past few days, Patrick Wensink’s Broken Piano for President has exploded into Amazon’s Top 10 bestsellers, where it currently sits at #7. The book has received coverage from Time Magazine, The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Telegraph, Boing Boing, Yahoo News, Business Week, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and countless other publications. This morning, Wensink appeared on Yahoo’s Trending Now talk show. Soon, he might be in a major documentary on trademark infringements and will be speaking to law students about copyright laws. In short, the book has exploded in an unprecedented manner. It’s one of the most popular bizarro political satires in recent times — and arrived just in time for the upcoming presidential election.

Now we need your help. We at Lazy Fascist Press are  not ones to rest on our laurels. We feel our work here is not yet done. We want to get Patrick Wensink — smart, funny, fantastic-smelling Patrick Wensink — on The Colbert Report. If we all work together, we can make this happen.

Here’s what you can do to get Patrick Wensink on The Colbert Report:

Send tweets about Patrick Wensink to both @ColbertReport and @StephenAtHome. Send them links to the Trending Now video, to the New York Times article, and to the Business Week interview. Or, if you prefer, just let Stephen Colbert knows how great Patrick Wensink smells.

Thank you for being part of the Lazy Fascist army.

Broken Piano for President: #1 Satire, #6 Bestseller at Amazon (Updated)

24 Jul

Broken Piano for President by Patrick Wensink exploded in the media early Sunday when news broke of the incredibly kind and generous cease-and-desist letter Jack Daniel’s issued over Broken Piano’s cover. It became the #1 bestselling satire at Amazon (beating out the works of Kurt Vonnegut and Catch-22) and the 6th bestseller overall. This is the highest sales rank a bizarro book has ever achieved. Let’s all raise a glass of Jack Daniel’s and give Patrick Wensink (and the great people at JD) one hell of a toast.

Here is some of the coverage the book has received so far:

The New York Times

Time Magazine

Forbes

Boing Boing

The Atlantic

Business Week

The Telegraph

Yahoo’s Trending Now

Yahoo News (x2)

Mashable

Mashable (interview)

Business Insider

GalleyCat

The Huffington Post

ABA Journal (American Bar Association)

Ain’t It Cool News

Bookforum

Kenyon Review

TN Whiskey Trail

The Portland Mercury’s Blogtown

WFPL (interview)

LitReactor

The Millions

Outside the Beltway

Critical Mob

Cosby Sweaters

Sam Pink’s Depressed Woman///Reading The Obese on the Bus///21st Century Horror

27 Mar

Sam Pink has started a band. They are called Depressed Woman. You can listen to some of their songs and read Sam Pink’s thoughts on each song here. In a new review of The No Hellos Diet, the blog i am alt lit said this about Sam’s work: “like ‘bukowski to postal workers’ and ‘franzen to academic/overly serious/literature is god types’ sam pink speaks to the ‘service class.’”

Alison Hallett of The Portland Mercury has reported that she feels uncomfortable reading The Obese by Nick Antosca on the bus. Last Saturday, Nick Antosca signed copies of The Obese at one of my favorite bookstores, Dark Delicacies in Burbank, CA. Here are two new interviews with Nick: 1) The Collagist, 2) Vol. 1 Brooklyn.

Other Lazy Fascist news of the week:

Anatomy Courses by Blake Butler and Sean Kilpatrick will be taught in a class on 21st Century Horror at Florida State University this fall. Other primary texts include The Marbled Swarm by Dennis Cooper and The Orange Eats Creeps by Grace Krilanovich.

We’re hearing that quantities of the Broken Piano for President soundtrack, which was recently released by Death Bomb Arc, is close to selling out. Thought Catalog published an essay by Wensink about his experience trying to find a publisher for Broken Piano for President. You can read it here.

Broken Piano for President book trailer

5 Mar